Wednesday, December 29, 2004

[23:24] other person: so have your seniors totally flaked out on you?
[23:24] other person: hows that for an abrupt shift in topics?
[23:26] other person: I’m wishing they were gelling- supporting each other in this final stretch or something, maybe they are & I don’t know it, maybe seniors get too bsy, I don’t know
[23:29] other person: I’m not putting this on you-  I know you have tried to get them together
[23:36] other person: I think they need some guidance & accountability
[23:36] barronkid: agreed
[23:36] barronkid: that requires commitment though
[23:37] barronkid: something none of them are really big on
[23:37] barronkid: you know
[23:37] barronkid: ?
[23:37] other person: committment how?
[23:37] other person: to time together?
[23:37] barronkid: relational commitment requires mutual accountability
[23:37] barronkid: necessitating time
[23:37] barronkid: and honesty
[23:37] other person: yeah,
[23:38] other person: I think deep down they want it
[23:38] barronkid: I’m prolly the most insecure of the four
[23:38] barronkid: cause I know they need and even want it,
[23:38] barronkid: but the enemy speaks all kinds of fears and such
[23:38] other person: what are you insecure about?
[23:39] other person: yeah- I know about fear
[23:39] barronkid: authenticity
[23:39] other person: showing your true self?
[23:40] barronkid: becoming a parent to them – taking away their parents’ place
[23:40] barronkid: no – authenticity = their real selves
[23:40] barronkid: I hate being lied to
[23:40] barronkid: makes me feel so stupid
[23:40] barronkid: and used
[23:40] barronkid: hate being played I guess.
[23:41] other person: but at this point it is really hard to for their parents- but the kids still need guidance
[23:41] barronkid: yeah
[23:41] other person: why would they lie to you?
[23:41] barronkid: I’m pretty nervous about doing the wrong thing around here too
[23:41] barronkid: being perceived wrong by parents and elders and such
[23:42] barronkid: they lie because they always lie.
[23:42] barronkid: you should see some of the things they write
[23:42] barronkid: on public websites
[23:42] barronkid: bout how much they love Jesus
[23:42] barronkid: and “getting lei-d”
[23:43] barronkid: one girl said, “I’m eXXXcellent at it”
[23:43] barronkid: after saying how much she loves Jesus
[23:43] barronkid: just so inconsistent.
[23:43] barronkid: I don’t know which part of her to believe
[23:43] other person: that is so sad
[23:44] barronkid: and I’m not really just worried about sex either
[23:44] other person: both parts are true I would assume
[23:44] barronkid: well, often I find that both are exaggerated
[23:44] barronkid: trying to make them look good to different audiences
[23:45] other person: I went through a time of living a total dulbel life around that age
[23:45] barronkid: yeah – every one wants to please someone
[23:45] other person: sure they are, thats the crisis of those years
[23:46] barronkid: so how do I be me, and have fun with them, and then invite them into something more spiritually?
[23:46] other person: are you cynical about teens- have they made you that way?
[23:46] barronkid: just looks like time is the key
[23:46] barronkid: cynical?
[23:47] barronkid: yeah, sometimes I guess I’m cynical about everyone
[23:47] barronkid: which is weird
[23:47] barronkid: because I’m generally optimistic
[23:48] other person: I don’t think you have to pretend  you are a regular friend, you are in their life for 1 reaon and everyone knows it..
[23:48] barronkid: but the 1 reason is not well understood
[23:48] other person: and I think thay want what you have to offer
[23:49] barronkid: kids think I’m supposed to make them “good”
[23:49] barronkid: parents want me to make them “safe”
[23:49] other person: what isn’t understood?
[23:49] barronkid: church leaders want me to make them “regular attenders”
[23:49] barronkid: and while any and all of the above may happen,
[23:49] other person: I think kids want you to help them feel and be closer to god
[23:50] barronkid: I believe I’m called to invite them and show them how to passionately love God.
[23:50] other person: i think thats what they want from you
[23:50] barronkid: yeah
[23:50] other person: really
[23:50] barronkid: at the heart of it
[23:50] barronkid: but they’re cynical too
[23:50] other person: really
[23:51] barronkid: oh yeah
[23:51] barronkid: their grades, their class rank, their extracurricular achievements, their attendance
[23:51] other person: yeah they are, but if you just keep showing them the road back home..
[23:51] barronkid: their leadership, their …
[23:51] barronkid: I’m not arguing with you
[23:52] barronkid: just confessing
[23:52] other person: but they are desperate inside to feel closer to god, and to know how to hear him
[23:52] barronkid: tired empty ready to see fruit frustrated hopeless helpless broken down beat up abused
[23:53] barronkid: which is RIGHT where I’m supposed to be
[23:53] barronkid: relying on God
[23:53] barronkid: asking for Him to move
[23:53] other person: but you have everything you need
[23:53] barronkid: and draw kids to himself
[23:53] other person: i know its not that simple.. but it is
[23:54] barronkid: I’m trying
[23:54] barronkid: I get caught up in trying to be successful
[23:54] barronkid: “successful”
[23:54] other person: I know you are- I’m not saying that- you are too hard on youself
[23:55] other person: yeah- and wwhat is ha?
[23:55] other person: that
[23:55] barronkid: just so many kids
[23:55] barronkid: like I want to do all the things we just talked about
[23:55] barronkid: and be that kind of friend
[23:55] barronkid: with this one and that one and a third one
[23:55] other person: yeah, It must feel overwhelming
[23:56] barronkid: and Him and Him and Him and Him and Him
[23:56] barronkid: and …
[23:56] barronkid: you know?
[23:56] other person: one day at a time I guess
[23:56] barronkid: definitely
[23:56] other person: one kid at a time
[23:57] barronkid: each opporunity as God provides them
[23:57] other person: what do they say if you say, how can I help you?
[23:59] barronkid: girls just want someone to listen
[23:59] barronkid: to connect with
[23:59] barronkid: they come and visit or IM me A LOT!
[23:59] barronkid: guys want someone to spend time with
[23:59] barronkid: but don’t know how to say it
[00:00] barronkid: on the whole I think guys are wanting their dads to affirm them as men
[00:01] other person: yeah
[00:02] barronkid: yeah – just think about those that don’t even have real dads
[00:05] other person: what if  you ask if they are where they want to be with god- are they concerned about that?
[00:05] barronkid: depends on where they are
[00:05] barronkid: like on the ski trip
[00:05] barronkid: I saw lots of maturity in one student that I hadn’t seen before
[00:05] barronkid: spiritual maturity
[00:06] barronkid: even leadership with others
[00:06] other person: grown alot this year
[00:06] barronkid: yeah
[00:06] barronkid: and I am so clueless
[00:06] barronkid: because we havent’ really spent enough time together
[00:07] barronkid: it feels very frustrating
[00:08] other person: but you are available- that’s what counts
[00:08] barronkid: spending time on messages, videos, budgets, postcards, calendars, e-mails, meetings, curriculum, etc.,
[00:08] barronkid: recruiting volunteers,
[00:09] barronkid: not to mention being in the word, praying, etc,
[00:09] barronkid: when the students really need people like to spend time investing in them
[00:10] other person: i think satan attacks you like he does me… paralyzing by feelings of overwhelmedness
[00:10] barronkid: yeah – placing all the burden on me
[00:11] barronkid: which is why I have to remember to look at God’s love
[00:11] barronkid: his plan
[00:11] barronkid: his will
[00:11] barronkid: his power
[00:11] barronkid: his time
[00:12] barronkid: there’s a lot of freedom in that
[00:12] barronkid: and hope
[00:12] other person: yeah- let him unclutter you mind & make your path clear
[00:12] barronkid: it makes me REALLY intense about investing in college students and other adults
[00:12] other person: yeah- it’s about freedom
[00:12] barronkid: to partner with me in it
[00:13] barronkid: but there’s a catch 22 – balancing the time with volunteers and time with students
[00:13] barronkid: the immediate and important things
[00:13] barronkid: vs.
[00:13] barronkid: the long term and important things
[00:14] other person: I don’t know about all that-  I think  they plain ole need you
[00:14] barronkid: I’m just learning all the time
[00:14] other person: yeah the big vs the little picture
[00:14] barronkid: exactly
[00:22] other person: soooo….
[00:23] barronkid: we pray
[00:23] other person: lets think abou how to make this disciple thing happen
[00:24] other person: right , we pray-
[00:24] barronkid: my tendency is to tell them it is a kick butt study
[00:24] barronkid: not for the faint of heart
[00:24] barronkid: so suck it up and commit to something
[00:24] other person: hmmm
[00:24] barronkid: that in itself is valuable
[00:25] barronkid: a lot of people respond well to that
[00:25] barronkid: and then there is a lot of people who are offended by it
[00:25] other person: whats your guarantee- what do they get in return?
[00:26] other person: sell your product
[00:26] barronkid: time
[00:26] barronkid: mine
[00:26] barronkid: each others
[00:26] barronkid: safety
[00:26] barronkid: opportunity for authentic vulnerability
[00:26] other person: yeah- I know that-
[00:26] barronkid: hmmmmmmmmm
[00:27] barronkid: and a backpacking trip in Jun?
[00:27] barronkid: *june?
[00:27] other person: I mean those are the nitty gritty- but what in aphrase would make them want to commit to it?
[00:27] other person: yeah- that sounds good
[00:28] other person: the right track
[00:31] other person: “”I know he wants to feel equipped to be who god wants, to be in Gods control, not controlled by the world
[00:32] barronkid: I want to help give a structure
[00:32] barronkid: a framework to operate within
[00:33] other person: basic and simple come to me, as opposed to something tha sounds complicated
[00:33] barronkid: oh yeah, totally simple
[00:33] barronkid: but without being legalistic
[00:34] barronkid: I’ve got to get the 2005 calendar out this week …
[00:35] other person: yeah, like what do you do when…. if you feel lost, exactly what are some things to do, specifically, or you need to make a decision, or you’ve made a huge mistake…
[00:37] other person: I guess my old self better go to bed
[00:37] barronkid: yeah – kris just said the same thing!
[00:37] barronkid: LOL
[00:37] barronkid: carson daly on TV means bedtime for us!~
[00:37] other person: God answered my prayer by connecting me with you tonight
[00:37] barronkid: really?
[00:37] barronkid: AWESOME
[00:38] other person: i felt so ……?.., and you’ve given me hope
[00:38] other person: yes really!!
[00:39] other person: the uncensored you is so cool Josh
[00:39] barronkid: LOL – glad you think so
[00:39] barronkid: I’m still LOL
[00:40] barronkid: I like the uncensored everyone
[00:40] barronkid: yourself included
[00:40] other person: I wasn’t trying to bfunny! I mean it!
[00:40] barronkid: I wasn’t laughing at you like you were joking,
[00:41] other person: me too, and some people come by it so easily
[00:41] barronkid: more at the relief and validation of my heart
[00:41] barronkid: thanks for saying that
[00:42] barronkid: it is hard to be really vulnerable – even when hiding behind a computer screen
[00:42] barronkid: there’s a lot of fear of rejection and misinterpretation
[00:42] other person: I Know it!
[00:43] barronkid: thanks for your encouragement
[00:43] barronkid: your questions and your suggestions
[00:43] other person: why are we so afraid when we’ve got all we need?
[00:44] other person: Thanks for letting me air
[00:44] other person: to feel free to say what comes to my mind
[00:46] barronkid: absolutely
[00:46] other person: I pray it never sounds like I have a hidden agenda or am judging you- I see us on the same side- for connecting kids to the one who loves them th best
[00:46] barronkid: “for God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of selfdiscipline.” 2 timothy 1.7
[00:47] barronkid: AGREED
[00:47] other person: amen
[00:47] barronkid: Straight up! So Be It.
[00:47] other person: so be it!
[00:51] other person: ok- good night!
[00:51] barronkid: have fun
[00:51] other person: bye-
Session Close (other person): Wed Dec 29 00:51:49 2004

 

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