Tuesday, January 04, 2005

A good friend sent me these lyrics in an e-mail … def inspired .. my heart resonates like this so often … enjoy.  JRB.


Wilderness
by The Supertones

The rain falls on the righteous and the wicked
Mine is not to reason why this is
In this I rest, in this I find my refuge:
That my thoughts and ways are not His
I spend my life on looking up the answers
It’s rare that I can’t find a reason why
But reasons fail at children without mothers
His plan is more than I can know

Have you ever held in doubt
What this life is all about
Have you questioned all these things that seem
important to us

Do you really wanna know
Or are you a little scared
You’re afraid that God is not exactly what you’d had Him be

What should I hold to and what should I do
How do I know if anything’s true
I’m somewhere in-between Canaan and Egypt
A place called the wilderness

I’m not one who always trusts their feelings
I don’t believe in what you’d call blind faith
But faith that You can do all that You promised
And you said it all works for good
It’s safe to say I don’t see the big picture
I can’t see the forest for the trees
And if five hundred lives
Were mine to get to know You
All could be spent on just this

God, do you really understand what it’s like to be a man?
Have You ever felt the weight of loving all the things you Hate?
Have You struggled? Have You worried?
How can You sympathize?

I have spoken much too soon put my hand over my mouth
I can’t contend with You
Your ways are so much higher
And we pass through the fire that Christ endured before us
When You were in the wilderness

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

[23:24] other person: so have your seniors totally flaked out on you?
[23:24] other person: hows that for an abrupt shift in topics?
[23:26] other person: I’m wishing they were gelling- supporting each other in this final stretch or something, maybe they are & I don’t know it, maybe seniors get too bsy, I don’t know
[23:29] other person: I’m not putting this on you-  I know you have tried to get them together
[23:36] other person: I think they need some guidance & accountability
[23:36] barronkid: agreed
[23:36] barronkid: that requires commitment though
[23:37] barronkid: something none of them are really big on
[23:37] barronkid: you know
[23:37] barronkid: ?
[23:37] other person: committment how?
[23:37] other person: to time together?
[23:37] barronkid: relational commitment requires mutual accountability
[23:37] barronkid: necessitating time
[23:37] barronkid: and honesty
[23:37] other person: yeah,
[23:38] other person: I think deep down they want it
[23:38] barronkid: I’m prolly the most insecure of the four
[23:38] barronkid: cause I know they need and even want it,
[23:38] barronkid: but the enemy speaks all kinds of fears and such
[23:38] other person: what are you insecure about?
[23:39] other person: yeah- I know about fear
[23:39] barronkid: authenticity
[23:39] other person: showing your true self?
[23:40] barronkid: becoming a parent to them – taking away their parents’ place
[23:40] barronkid: no – authenticity = their real selves
[23:40] barronkid: I hate being lied to
[23:40] barronkid: makes me feel so stupid
[23:40] barronkid: and used
[23:40] barronkid: hate being played I guess.
[23:41] other person: but at this point it is really hard to for their parents- but the kids still need guidance
[23:41] barronkid: yeah
[23:41] other person: why would they lie to you?
[23:41] barronkid: I’m pretty nervous about doing the wrong thing around here too
[23:41] barronkid: being perceived wrong by parents and elders and such
[23:42] barronkid: they lie because they always lie.
[23:42] barronkid: you should see some of the things they write
[23:42] barronkid: on public websites
[23:42] barronkid: bout how much they love Jesus
[23:42] barronkid: and “getting lei-d”
[23:43] barronkid: one girl said, “I’m eXXXcellent at it”
[23:43] barronkid: after saying how much she loves Jesus
[23:43] barronkid: just so inconsistent.
[23:43] barronkid: I don’t know which part of her to believe
[23:43] other person: that is so sad
[23:44] barronkid: and I’m not really just worried about sex either
[23:44] other person: both parts are true I would assume
[23:44] barronkid: well, often I find that both are exaggerated
[23:44] barronkid: trying to make them look good to different audiences
[23:45] other person: I went through a time of living a total dulbel life around that age
[23:45] barronkid: yeah – every one wants to please someone
[23:45] other person: sure they are, thats the crisis of those years
[23:46] barronkid: so how do I be me, and have fun with them, and then invite them into something more spiritually?
[23:46] other person: are you cynical about teens- have they made you that way?
[23:46] barronkid: just looks like time is the key
[23:46] barronkid: cynical?
[23:47] barronkid: yeah, sometimes I guess I’m cynical about everyone
[23:47] barronkid: which is weird
[23:47] barronkid: because I’m generally optimistic
[23:48] other person: I don’t think you have to pretend  you are a regular friend, you are in their life for 1 reaon and everyone knows it..
[23:48] barronkid: but the 1 reason is not well understood
[23:48] other person: and I think thay want what you have to offer
[23:49] barronkid: kids think I’m supposed to make them “good”
[23:49] barronkid: parents want me to make them “safe”
[23:49] other person: what isn’t understood?
[23:49] barronkid: church leaders want me to make them “regular attenders”
[23:49] barronkid: and while any and all of the above may happen,
[23:49] other person: I think kids want you to help them feel and be closer to god
[23:50] barronkid: I believe I’m called to invite them and show them how to passionately love God.
[23:50] other person: i think thats what they want from you
[23:50] barronkid: yeah
[23:50] other person: really
[23:50] barronkid: at the heart of it
[23:50] barronkid: but they’re cynical too
[23:50] other person: really
[23:51] barronkid: oh yeah
[23:51] barronkid: their grades, their class rank, their extracurricular achievements, their attendance
[23:51] other person: yeah they are, but if you just keep showing them the road back home..
[23:51] barronkid: their leadership, their …
[23:51] barronkid: I’m not arguing with you
[23:52] barronkid: just confessing
[23:52] other person: but they are desperate inside to feel closer to god, and to know how to hear him
[23:52] barronkid: tired empty ready to see fruit frustrated hopeless helpless broken down beat up abused
[23:53] barronkid: which is RIGHT where I’m supposed to be
[23:53] barronkid: relying on God
[23:53] barronkid: asking for Him to move
[23:53] other person: but you have everything you need
[23:53] barronkid: and draw kids to himself
[23:53] other person: i know its not that simple.. but it is
[23:54] barronkid: I’m trying
[23:54] barronkid: I get caught up in trying to be successful
[23:54] barronkid: “successful”
[23:54] other person: I know you are- I’m not saying that- you are too hard on youself
[23:55] other person: yeah- and wwhat is ha?
[23:55] other person: that
[23:55] barronkid: just so many kids
[23:55] barronkid: like I want to do all the things we just talked about
[23:55] barronkid: and be that kind of friend
[23:55] barronkid: with this one and that one and a third one
[23:55] other person: yeah, It must feel overwhelming
[23:56] barronkid: and Him and Him and Him and Him and Him
[23:56] barronkid: and …
[23:56] barronkid: you know?
[23:56] other person: one day at a time I guess
[23:56] barronkid: definitely
[23:56] other person: one kid at a time
[23:57] barronkid: each opporunity as God provides them
[23:57] other person: what do they say if you say, how can I help you?
[23:59] barronkid: girls just want someone to listen
[23:59] barronkid: to connect with
[23:59] barronkid: they come and visit or IM me A LOT!
[23:59] barronkid: guys want someone to spend time with
[23:59] barronkid: but don’t know how to say it
[00:00] barronkid: on the whole I think guys are wanting their dads to affirm them as men
[00:01] other person: yeah
[00:02] barronkid: yeah – just think about those that don’t even have real dads
[00:05] other person: what if  you ask if they are where they want to be with god- are they concerned about that?
[00:05] barronkid: depends on where they are
[00:05] barronkid: like on the ski trip
[00:05] barronkid: I saw lots of maturity in one student that I hadn’t seen before
[00:05] barronkid: spiritual maturity
[00:06] barronkid: even leadership with others
[00:06] other person: grown alot this year
[00:06] barronkid: yeah
[00:06] barronkid: and I am so clueless
[00:06] barronkid: because we havent’ really spent enough time together
[00:07] barronkid: it feels very frustrating
[00:08] other person: but you are available- that’s what counts
[00:08] barronkid: spending time on messages, videos, budgets, postcards, calendars, e-mails, meetings, curriculum, etc.,
[00:08] barronkid: recruiting volunteers,
[00:09] barronkid: not to mention being in the word, praying, etc,
[00:09] barronkid: when the students really need people like to spend time investing in them
[00:10] other person: i think satan attacks you like he does me… paralyzing by feelings of overwhelmedness
[00:10] barronkid: yeah – placing all the burden on me
[00:11] barronkid: which is why I have to remember to look at God’s love
[00:11] barronkid: his plan
[00:11] barronkid: his will
[00:11] barronkid: his power
[00:11] barronkid: his time
[00:12] barronkid: there’s a lot of freedom in that
[00:12] barronkid: and hope
[00:12] other person: yeah- let him unclutter you mind & make your path clear
[00:12] barronkid: it makes me REALLY intense about investing in college students and other adults
[00:12] other person: yeah- it’s about freedom
[00:12] barronkid: to partner with me in it
[00:13] barronkid: but there’s a catch 22 – balancing the time with volunteers and time with students
[00:13] barronkid: the immediate and important things
[00:13] barronkid: vs.
[00:13] barronkid: the long term and important things
[00:14] other person: I don’t know about all that-  I think  they plain ole need you
[00:14] barronkid: I’m just learning all the time
[00:14] other person: yeah the big vs the little picture
[00:14] barronkid: exactly
[00:22] other person: soooo….
[00:23] barronkid: we pray
[00:23] other person: lets think abou how to make this disciple thing happen
[00:24] other person: right , we pray-
[00:24] barronkid: my tendency is to tell them it is a kick butt study
[00:24] barronkid: not for the faint of heart
[00:24] barronkid: so suck it up and commit to something
[00:24] other person: hmmm
[00:24] barronkid: that in itself is valuable
[00:25] barronkid: a lot of people respond well to that
[00:25] barronkid: and then there is a lot of people who are offended by it
[00:25] other person: whats your guarantee- what do they get in return?
[00:26] other person: sell your product
[00:26] barronkid: time
[00:26] barronkid: mine
[00:26] barronkid: each others
[00:26] barronkid: safety
[00:26] barronkid: opportunity for authentic vulnerability
[00:26] other person: yeah- I know that-
[00:26] barronkid: hmmmmmmmmm
[00:27] barronkid: and a backpacking trip in Jun?
[00:27] barronkid: *june?
[00:27] other person: I mean those are the nitty gritty- but what in aphrase would make them want to commit to it?
[00:27] other person: yeah- that sounds good
[00:28] other person: the right track
[00:31] other person: “”I know he wants to feel equipped to be who god wants, to be in Gods control, not controlled by the world
[00:32] barronkid: I want to help give a structure
[00:32] barronkid: a framework to operate within
[00:33] other person: basic and simple come to me, as opposed to something tha sounds complicated
[00:33] barronkid: oh yeah, totally simple
[00:33] barronkid: but without being legalistic
[00:34] barronkid: I’ve got to get the 2005 calendar out this week …
[00:35] other person: yeah, like what do you do when…. if you feel lost, exactly what are some things to do, specifically, or you need to make a decision, or you’ve made a huge mistake…
[00:37] other person: I guess my old self better go to bed
[00:37] barronkid: yeah – kris just said the same thing!
[00:37] barronkid: LOL
[00:37] barronkid: carson daly on TV means bedtime for us!~
[00:37] other person: God answered my prayer by connecting me with you tonight
[00:37] barronkid: really?
[00:37] barronkid: AWESOME
[00:38] other person: i felt so ……?.., and you’ve given me hope
[00:38] other person: yes really!!
[00:39] other person: the uncensored you is so cool Josh
[00:39] barronkid: LOL – glad you think so
[00:39] barronkid: I’m still LOL
[00:40] barronkid: I like the uncensored everyone
[00:40] barronkid: yourself included
[00:40] other person: I wasn’t trying to bfunny! I mean it!
[00:40] barronkid: I wasn’t laughing at you like you were joking,
[00:41] other person: me too, and some people come by it so easily
[00:41] barronkid: more at the relief and validation of my heart
[00:41] barronkid: thanks for saying that
[00:42] barronkid: it is hard to be really vulnerable – even when hiding behind a computer screen
[00:42] barronkid: there’s a lot of fear of rejection and misinterpretation
[00:42] other person: I Know it!
[00:43] barronkid: thanks for your encouragement
[00:43] barronkid: your questions and your suggestions
[00:43] other person: why are we so afraid when we’ve got all we need?
[00:44] other person: Thanks for letting me air
[00:44] other person: to feel free to say what comes to my mind
[00:46] barronkid: absolutely
[00:46] other person: I pray it never sounds like I have a hidden agenda or am judging you- I see us on the same side- for connecting kids to the one who loves them th best
[00:46] barronkid: “for God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of selfdiscipline.” 2 timothy 1.7
[00:47] barronkid: AGREED
[00:47] other person: amen
[00:47] barronkid: Straight up! So Be It.
[00:47] other person: so be it!
[00:51] other person: ok- good night!
[00:51] barronkid: have fun
[00:51] other person: bye-
Session Close (other person): Wed Dec 29 00:51:49 2004

 

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Just posted the lyrics to a song that Matt & I wrote last week and Kristen performed with the band last Sunday in church.

It was a really cool moment to sing together this awesome song that comes straight out of the text … Mary’s thoughts are so profound and statements so bold … when I consider what was about to happen to her socially and hear this song of faith leap out of her mouth, such strong confessional statements about God and his greatness.

It just hit me that there are so many songs about Mary at Christmas-time, but that Mary’s confession about God and carrying his son to the world should not be relegated to December, or to women, but to all believers.

So I sat down with the text, started cranking out the words, told Matt that the music had to be a woman’s expressive dance, and handed him each verse as they came.  He sang and played, I made a few changes, added the second chorus (which is sung over the first one like a quodlibet), and all of the sudden we stopped and looked at each other, amazed to hear this powerful declaration of God’s greatness and our part in his master plan … like I say, it was surreal … soreallycool.

Fifteen … maybe twenty minutes tops … handed to us from the inventor of music, for His glory.  Amazing. (and lots of fun!!)