“Good night, buddy … I love you.” Kiss.
“Good night, Daddy … I love you too. I had lots of fun today.” Head butt.
“Wow … ouch.”
Both of us laugh like you do when you hit your funny bone. It’s real laughter, but … ouch.
“Okay, sleep tight, and I’ll see you in the morning.” No response.
Now at this point I’m wondering what’s going on in there because he’s not looking at me, but I can see his little gears turning. Maybe he’s just looking to stall for another few minutes before lights-out, but then again, maybe not.
“Daddy, why are your ears and cheeks like that?”
“What, Caed?”
“Why are your ears all red?”
“Because we mowed the lawn together today and the sun burned us a little. The blood is busy working to fix our cheeks and ears back to normal … yours look just the same.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, touch ‘em … they feel kinda warm.”
“Oooh.”
More gears …
“Daddy?” “Yes, Caed?” “How does the blood get to your ears?” “That’s a good question, buddy, maybe we should talk about it tomorrow.” “Okay.”
So I start to leave, but maybe it’s the inner nerd that has some desperate need to answer technical questions when they are asked, or maybe its a father who absolutely adores his kid … and though I’m certain that Mommy is in the living room by now, counting the number of minutes past bedtime as each one ticks by, I just can’t help myself. I’m certain she’s wondering why my goodnights always take so long. Then, with a giddiness that girls must experience when they’re whispering the latest gossip, I kneel down by his bed, relishing this moment when I get to reveal one more secret mystery of this beautiful universe to an eager little mind, equally as beautiful.
Yep, all of my fatherly resolve to be disciplined and structured is gone … I totally cave.
“Okay buddy, I’ll tell you what I know, but only for a minute, okay?” Just from the sound of his response you can tell, he knows he’s got me for at least five. “Okay, Daddy.” “Okay, so you know where your heart is, right?” “It’s right here, where you can reach it when its time for the pledge.” “You’ve got it … so your heart is a muscle, a very, very strong and smart muscle. It beats and rests, beats, and rests, beats and rests, all your whole life.” “Strong like my arm?” “Stronger.” “Wow.” “Yeah, isn’t that cool? It squeezes and pushes and then it rests and relaxes, that’s what we call your heartbeat. So the heart squeezes and pushes, and your blood shoots through your body, then it does it again, and again, and again, until it gets all the way to your ears.” “How does it get there?” “It goes through little tubes like the water does outside in the hose when you turn on the sprinkler. From your heart to your toes to your fingers to your lungs to your toes to your fingers to your heart and all the way around over and over and over.” “It makes a circle? Wait, there’s blood IN my ears?” “Sure, look, squeeze my ear and then tell me what it looks like.”
The tentative hand reaches up to touch my suddenly sketchy ear that, in his mind, has decided to have blood inside it.
“Ooh”
Laughter.
“It turned white, Daddy, and then it got red again.” “That’s right, you squeezed it and made all the blood run away, then my heart beat was strong and pushed new blood right back in there to keep getting it fixed up.” “Do it to my ear, Daddy, make mine change like yours.” “Sure.”
I squeeze his little sunburned ear. He doesn’t even wince.
“I felt it Daddy, the blood went in my body, and then my heart, it is really strong you know, my heart just PUNCHED that blood right back in my ear! It says, ‘go back blood, we have work to do.’” “That’s right Caed-ro … your heart is SO strong.” “And smart, too, right?” “Right.” “And it goes really fast.” “Right.” “In a circle.” “Right.”
The gears are obviously screamingly fast at this point … and then it happens. You see, we had a tornado alert the other day, and so he’s been asking all KINDS of questions about tornadoes and how will we know, and what if one comes in the night, and what if we can’t find a basement, and why does it go in a circle, and … well, you get the picture, right?
“So my heart makes a big fast circle blood tornado in my ears!!!!” “Um … right … you got it!”
At this point I’m grinning from ear to ear and chuckling to myself about how little minds make such stretches to connect the completely unassociated and to make the ultra-complex into something ultra-simple. My father-husband-consciousness is just now kicking in again, reminding me ever so subtly that my ‘minute’ has past.
“I love you, Caedmon McKee Barron, my wise warrior.” “I love you, too, Daddy.”
I see the gears resume their normal spinning and my subconciousness begins to process the whole interaction, bringing on the current feeling of awe and humility to have such an important (and powerful) role in someone else’s life.
My hand moves toward the lightswitch and he goes for it one more time.
“Daddy?” “Yes, Caedmon.” “If a big tornado goes so fast, like ZOOM. Does a small tornado go slower?” “That’s a great question, Caed.”
And, amazingly, my resolve is firm (this time).
“That’s a great question, and we’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay big guy?” “Okay, Daddy.” “I love you.” “I’m your son … I’m wise and brave and strong.”
Tears fill my eyes as I flip off the light.
“That’s right … you are wise, and brave, and strong. I’m so glad you are mine.” “I’m glad you’re mine, too … sleep tight, Dad.”
DAD?!? Woah now … where’d that come from … DAD? But I decide to leave it for another breathtaking conversation. Wow…